I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
