I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
