also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
