Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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