Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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