My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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