No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
