can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
