i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
