you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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