In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
