Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
