Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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