pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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