you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
