i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
