Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Randomize
