Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize