It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize