I just cut my nipple shaving
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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