a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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