I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
