Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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