she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
