My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
