your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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