I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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