Who did Billy Mays play for?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
