One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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