Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
