I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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