Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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