on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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