Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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