i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
