am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
