he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
