I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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