So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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