but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
