god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize