I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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