if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
