This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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