i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
pray to the hookup gods
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
