I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize