Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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