Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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