They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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