I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
