nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
