Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize