I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
