Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize