my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
