walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
