To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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