Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
