Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
