I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
