Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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