I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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