This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
