508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
