I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
