..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
