Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
