Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
