I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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