We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
