The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
