I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
