if i can run in heels then i can drive
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
