Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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