I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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