Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize