she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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